marialing

Archive for November, 2010|Monthly archive page

Crass?

In Uncategorized on November 30, 2010 at 6:05 pm

I remember once being called crass by a friend/colleague.  I did not respond to his comment.  It was the same occasion he brought me out for coffee to contront me about something I supposedly told someone (which I did not, in the context he said I supposedly did it) something he told me about someone else.

We were both church workers at that time.  Our families were also pretty close.  But in time, things unraveled because in the bigger scheme of things at that church, things just fell apart.

Time has passed.  I am sure things at that church are much better – maybe because I am not there!  Oh!  I take too much credit!

Anyway, am I crass? My computer dictionary defines it like this,

crass |kras|
adjective
lacking sensitivity, refinement, or intelligence : the crass assumptions that men make about women.
DERIVATIVES
crassitude |ˈkrasəˌt(y)oōd| noun
crassly adverb
crassness noun
ORIGIN late 15th cent. (in the sense [dense or coarse (in constitution or texture)] ): from Latin crassus ‘solid, thick.’

Wow!  I lack sensitivity – yes…there have been enough instances to confirm this.

I lack refinement – I am sure many at many social events would accede to this.

I lack intelligence – well…I have some but maybe not enough?

Thankfully it doesn’t say I lack wisdom – or at least the kind that comes from God.

Proverbial bull in a china shop?  Needing grooming and etiquette classes?  Social sensitivity?  I am sure I need all the help I can get.

 

But I guess I don’t fit the model of a refined, well-groomed, Spirit-filled Christian woman.  (you will know the pain of not fitting a model or stereotype when people close to you try to replace you with another.)

 

Neither male nor female…but a person?

 

What does God call me when God calls me?

 

my child

my precious one

my sweet

my beloved

 

Acceptable to God but not to many people (especially certain men I have come across)…Oh well…I don’t fit in the traditional boxes of “wife” and “mother” or “daughter” but Someone close to me finds me most lovable.  May this Someone grant me grace to be lovable to those who find it a challenge to love me each day.

Allowing God to mould the dry clay

In Uncategorized on November 18, 2010 at 6:04 pm

I believe in Human Free Will.  I believe God is Sovereign, too.

In my mind, I know what is good and godly for me – most of the time.

In my will?  I fight and stubbornly hold on.  To what?  These are but rags…but they are my rags.  Mine.  Better raggedy than naked following a naked Christ.  Seriously.  Some would do anything to follow this naked Christ for they have tasted the goodness of the Lord.

 

I have tasted the Lord’s goodness but I stubbornly hold on.

 

Lack of trust.  I project human frailty onto God.  I have been hurt, disappointed, played out by significant people in my life.  So in my lousy logic, if these significant people can do that, and God being Significant, then God can do that to me.

 

But I forget that God CANNOT.  God cannot hurt me, disappoint me or play me out.  God CANNOT.

 

God is absolute, perfect LOVE incarnated in Jesus Christ.

 

So I take baby steps today.  The step towards allowing God to break me, mould me and make me more into the woman God wants me and KNOWS me to be!

 

Let it be on earth as it is heaven.